"Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?"
The other day, during my run, I had a little situation that made me think for a bit. You could call it an unfortunate/funny situation which my analytical self analyzed from two different perspectives.
Let me explain first the personal meaning of my running time so you can understand the whole situation a bit better. I long for that moment every day. I acquired enough discipline doing so for the last 10 years that it became a pleasure more than only a work out. This is a time when I plan, dream and plan my dreams, at the same time that I listen to music. I study songs during that time, worship songs as well as film scores. Many other times I have an amazing time with God. Those are my favorite! Also, a very important detail, this is the ONLY time when what to wear never crosses my mind. This is my time to be free and not caring about the way I look. At the same time, I’m alone so I don’t care much about certain odors that come with the package.
As I show in my picture, I use a trash bag wrapped around my stomach when I run. It helps me sweat way more than any other stuff I tried. This trash bag I use, for some reason, made me sweat unevenly creating an unfortunate sight. I looked like I peed myself. On the other hand, I grabbed whatever I found in the clean laundry basket I didn’t get to put away and left. I forgot to mention earlier that I run on the street. Now that I think about it, that’s probably one good reason I didn’t make friends in the neighborhood; they might think I’m crazy.
On this particular day, I noticed, as I was walking to a stop light, that I was being stared at. I noticed the look of particularly one gentleman, sitting in his car, waiting for a green light. He gave me a pity look with a mix of compassion and judgement. That morning, I had decided to go back to my film scores playlist. Throughout those beautiful compositions, in my mind, I ran through all kinds of places and eras. Seconds before I stoped at the light, I was listening to the Theme from Schindler’s List by John Williams. I was wishing, dreaming and planning that I would write some day something so significant. At that very second I get the stare.
It made me think of a few things but particularly two. Humans have the tendency to do that all the time. We judge according to our thoughts, our life, our ways and especially our emotional state. I found myself a lot in those situations, where the tables were turned and I was the one staring. If this person would’ve been in my mind and ears at that time he would’ve completely forgotten that I might’ve looked homeless. How easy it is to describe a situation only by a picture.
My other conclusion was a decision I had to make. How was I gonna let this affect myself. Whether I knew this person or not, it is up to me to let a negative situation blow up in my mind and ruin my day. On the other hand, this guy could’ve had his mind somewhere else, not even realizing he gave me a look while waiting for a green light and have completely forgotten about it the second he left. I also found myself in situations like this, being in my own little world and staring at someone not even knowing.
My point is this. Whatever negative encounter we have with others, wether it is a bad look or an attitude, the only control we have is in our minds. It is not wise to start making assumptions for an irrelevant and awkward moment. Why give hours of your mind to something that vanishes in seconds. Remember that whatever you focus your thoughts in will take away time to focus on something else.
I rather put my focus on who I am and what God entrusted me with for me to flourish. I rather dedicate my time to write that piece of music that can make somebody’s day in stead of ruining it.
I'll leave you with this quote from the movie "The Help". "Every day you're not dead in the ground, when you wake up in the morning, you're gonna have to make some decisions. Got to ask yourself this question: "Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?" You hear me?